the stars in my fault.

i am sorry, it was not meant to be.

you are sorry, it did not meant to be.

she is sorry, it was never to be.

unwavering.

it was too long. finally, she said yes.
grasping tightly both her hands, saying:

we are together.
we are finally together.
i got you and i will never leave you.

while i was imagining and hoping for a forehead to forehead rest and stare,

the sunrays, they pierce through my curtains, and into my eyes.

mishappened.

was at her place, which looks like a modified greenview, chatted for quite a while,  got into mattress to rest, she came on and took off her clothes, body more or less same as gf. something was about to happen, but suddenly her sister casually walks by, saw the whole situation, reported what she saw to her father, her father looks more like hansiang's father than her own. her father immediately confronts me about it along with other neighbors trying to seek justice for her daughter. tried to calm him down by explaining that other than she being naked, nothing happened, but to no avail. sworn that i was not one to mess around with a girl and not admit to it. hid in a car to avoid being assaulted, he took a traffic triangle and tried to hit me with it, only to show me that he trusts me and said that he is convinced that i am a good boy.(kinda vague afterwards, seems like she opened the car door and walked with me away)

woke up next day, to a lawn that looks like my grandma's house, full of dinner tables with people and a feast of celebration. saw a table with people in in bridal clothing, but missing a pair of couple. immediately thought that i was marrying her which was wrong because she was still beng gf. saw a stage with what looks like a new year's eve celebration. with a fat malay with korean makeup on stage along with other real korean dancers. her father came up to me and told me that he really likes me and that i realized the wedding reception was not mine and someone else. stage singers proceed to do a countdown ala new years eve. me and manjaline standing side by side.

fade to black

xsition

dream diary now.

inverser une

...you asked me, have i ever lied to you? i did. i do not want to lie to you anymore by saying "No, i never lied to you". you asked why, i never had a reason to explain. i was wrong, i was blinded by rage, rage clouded my senses, senses made me act, and i acted foolishly. i never wanted to lie to you, i only do that because i cannot bear the thought of you avoiding me, ignoring me and leaving me. first thing that came into my mind, was to stop that from happening, which was the only thing on my mind. i know i gave you a traumatic experience, i will never deny it. all i can say is, i do it for love, and i love you...

neuf.

...i was sick and absent for 2 weeks. 1st day from my first absent and 3 days from my first condition, you messaged me, asking why am i missing from class. I got allergies from eating too much prawns. Not knowing that allergies aren't contagious and to prevent you from worrying too much, i told you that i'm fine, just got slight rashes in my skin. Despite that, you still came to see me immediately after class and tended me. Although i'm not lying dead on the bed like fever, but still you acted like i'm paralyzed, asking me what can you get to make me better. Little did you know that your presence alone is already my happiness...

huit.

...it was not the first time i went to the mall with you, but this time it's a bit different. You walked from shop to shop excitingly, most of them which are fashion boutiques. You picked up clothing after clothing after clothing, hard on deciding which to buy and which to give up. Trying every clothing on the ones you pick, and some you even asked me to take photos with you inside the dressing room with the the chosen clothes, and having awkward looks from people that saw me coming out from the dressing room with you. After some time, there was one particular shirt you came out with, it was the most beautiful thing i saw whole day, judging by how it suits you. Of course, you did not know what was my mind thinking that time, to you it's just another clothing to be tried on and left out. For me, i am glad that you took a photo with me while wearing that....